It's 10:32pm and I am currently being suffocated by my 2 year old. It has been a long and trying week with her and I am really hoping it passes soon. I'm not sure if she is fighting something, like a kidney infection, or if she is just out of sorts due to daddy being gone all week. The days have been filled with a constant grating whine that makes me want to punch myself in the face. I hear about a 100 times a day "mom, I neeeeeeed you" or "I want youuuuuuu". Even as she has her body wrapped around mine like a boa constrictor, breathing all my air, she wakes up whining "I want you". I want to curl up somewhere quiet and peaceful where I can completely escape within myself.
But, another part of me wants to cherish these moments of being needed. Of knowing that someone loves me and needs me so much that she clings to me like a life boat. I know that soon babe#3 will be here and totally rock her world. I know that one day she will push me away. That one day it could be me whining for her attention. One day, the house will be too quiet. Yes, the days are long, but the years are short. So, I will take a deep breath of stale recycled air and surrender to the suffocation.
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